November 6

Should I Get Back With My Ex? Here’s 4 Ways to Find Out

So you are thinking about getting back together with your ex, but you're not sure if you should. When you’re talking about reigniting an old flame, it’s good to proceed with caution. After all, the relationship didn’t work out the first time. Why should it work out this time?

If you get back with your ex and things don’t work out again, you might be left feeling worse than you did before. But if you get back with your ex and live happily ever after, it was worth the risk.

So how do you know if you should get back with your ex? I think the short answer is to look past your emotions and view your relationship objectively. And that’s easier said than done. But if you're still in love with your ex, hopefully this article will give you a better idea of how to do that.

Are You Wanting To Get Back With Your Ex Because You Are Afraid to Be Alone?

should i get back with an ex girlfriend

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If you're wondering "why can't I get over my ex", the first question you should ask yourself is if you really want this person or if you’re just afraid to be alone. According to a 2016 peer-reviewed research study, people with stronger fear of being single experience greater longing for their ex-partners.

The study determined that fear of being alone was the strongest predictor of having a strong attachment to your ex-partner. It was a greater predictor than things like anxious attachment as well as details of the split like who initiated the breakup and how much time passed since after the breakup.

I talk a lot about the fear of being alone on this blog, because that’s one of the most common reasons why you can't get over your ex. If you’re wondering whether or not you should get back with an ex who dumped you, one of the first things to do is examine your fear of being alone.

A lot of people stick with bad relationships just because they are afraid to be alone. But allowing fear to guide your decisions makes you shrink as a person until there’s nothing left of you.

One of the best ways to do this is to let go of the fear of being alone. We all have a natural ability to let go of uncomfortable feelings such as fear. But most of us are unaware of how to do that. 

Our ability to let go can be learned and strengthened just like athletic performance or artistic abilities. And that’s what The Breakup Healing System is designed to do. The Breakup Healing System guides you through the process of letting go of uncomfortable feelings around your breakup like the fear of being alone.

Once you let go of feelings like the fear of being alone, you can see your ex and your past relationship from a more objective standpoint. And you’ll be able to easily discern whether or not you should get back together with your ex. 

If you want to get a better idea of what The Breakup Healing System is all about without spending any money, I’ve created a free mini course you can take so you can see what it’s all about. 

This mini course has four free videos that explain how to let go of painful feelings left after a breakup. We’ll even do three different exercises together to help you get started. 

Ready to start letting go so you can feel peace and happiness again?

Click Here to Enroll in The Breakup Healing System Mini Course for Free Now.

Are You Wanting to Get Back With Your Ex to Escape Pain?

should i get back with an ex after a year

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Let’s face it, breakups hurt a lot. You are faced with a lot of uncomfortable feelings such as grief, guilt, helplessness, and the fear that you’ll be alone forever. And there’s also this feeling that you are missing something important, like a limb or vital organ. 

The pain that you feel after a breakup is real pain. A 2011 study conducted at the University of Michigan showed that we experience the pain of a breakup the same way as physical pain. 

To do this, they did MRI brain scans of people going through a breakup. What the MRI scans showed was that the same areas of the brain light up when someone is feeling the pain of a breakup as someone who is experiencing physical pain from an injury or illness. 

When we are experiencing pain, our first natural reaction is to try to escape, numb or even heal this pain as quickly as possible. And if you’re experiencing the pain of a breakup, one of the obvious ways to heal that pain is to mend the broken relationship. 

But that might not always be the best idea. When you’re in pain, it’s easy to make bad decisions. Pain has a way of clouding our judgement. We can’t see past our own pain and often make brash or foolish decisions as a result.

Keep in mind that it takes about 3-6 months on average to get over a breakup. So I recommend holding off on making any major life decisions in the 3-6 month post breakup period.

The way to avoid making bad decisions in the first place is to heal the pain. This is a big part of what The Breakup Healing System is all about. Chapter 3 of this course is entitled “How to Be Free From Pain and Suffering”

In the first lesson of Chapter 3, I tell the story of how I felt no pain after a motorcycle accident just by letting go of wanting to change or fight against the pain. As I did this, the suffering I was experiencing as a result of the serious injuries I sustained subsided. 

The physical sensations of my injuries were still there, but there was no suffering. I perceived no difference between the feeling of the road rash and severe bruising and the benign feeling of clothing or wind on my skin. They were just sensations and I felt fine.

And really I felt better than fine. Instead of pain and suffering, I felt joy and gratitude. I laughed and cried tears of joy. Seeing my behavior, the paramedics thought that I had sustained a head injury, but I was wearing a helmet and it was barely scratched in the accident. 

The same is possible for you. If you can recognize that you are fighting with your pain, and let go of that resistance, the suffering ends. You may experience joy, or you may still experience uncomfortable emotions about your breakup. But without resistance, these emotions will just be seen by you as benign sensations, pictures or sounds. 

So if any of this is at all intriguing to you, I would encourage you to enroll in The Breakup Healing System. The course is really quite extensive and going through the course is really the best way to determine if you should get back with your ex. 

And of course, if you’re not willing to spend money just yet, I understand. I do have a free mini course available for you to enroll in for free. 

Click Here to Enroll in The Breakup Healing System Free Mini Course Now.

What Are The Advantages and Disadvantages of Getting Back with Your Ex?

why getting back with an ex never works

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So another thing to look at when deciding whether or not to get back with your ex are the advantages and disadvantages of doing so. A lot of times we see the advantages, but ignore the disadvantages.

And this ignorance is often willful. It’s easy to look past fatal flaws and red flags your ex is exhibiting, especially when you are in pain or in fear of being alone forever. But ignoring problems won’t make them go away.

So what I recommend you do is take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write “advantages of getting back with my ex” and other write “disadvantages of getting back with my ex.” 

Then go back and forth, coming up with advantages and disadvantages and writing it down. This brings positives and negatives of your ex into your conscious mind so you can see the relationship in its totality. 

In The Breakup Healing System I will show you how to combine this process with letting go. The reason why I recommend letting go with this process is that we often get so attached to certain aspects of a relationship that we’re completely blind to some glaring flaws. 

Conversely, we also have aversions to certain aspects of our relationships. And with aversions, you can be so averse to certain things that may not really be a problem, yet we make it out to be such a huge problem that we throw away a potentially great relationship. 

For instance, let’s say that your ex is really great and ticks all the right boxes but your ex snores. And you hate snoring so much that you ended what could otherwise be a really great relationship. 

This is an extreme example, but hopefully you see the point. If you can let go of your aversion to snoring, you can enjoy a loving relationship with your ideal partner. 

Being able to see the advantages and disadvantages of your relationship and letting go can help you see more clearly as to whether or not you should get back with your ex. And when you enroll in The Breakup Healing System, you’ll find out exactly how to do this.

If you want to get a taste of what the course is like, you can enroll in the mini course now:

Click Here to Enroll in The Breakup Healing System Mini Course Now.

Are You Wanting To Get Back With Your Ex For Your Child?

should i get back with my ex for my child

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Sometimes we are faced with a tough decision: stay away from an ex who isn’t right for you and deprive your children of their parent or get back with your ex for the sake of your child.

This is a tough decision and ultimately something that you have to determine for yourself. However, there are a few factors that make this decision really easy. If your ex has any of the following qualities, it’s probably best to stay far, far away:

If your ex is abusive, either emotionally or physically, do not get back together with your ex for your child.

This is obvious for some people, but not so obvious for others. Another problem is that people who are abused by their partners can form a trauma bond that makes it even harder for them to protect themselves from abuse. 

If your ex is abusive towards you, they will probably abuse your kids too. So stay far, far away and if you think you might be trauma bonded, seek professional help. 

The Breakup Healing System can help you release the trauma so you can see your ex for what they truly are. However, it’s not a substitute for trained professionals who can help protect you from an abusive ex. I think the ideal solution is to seek professional help and enroll in The Breakup Healing System

After all, you might only see your counselor or social worker weekly or monthly, but you can login to the course and release trauma whenever you want. 

If your ex is addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or engages in other risky behaviors, do not get back together with your ex for your child.

This might be obvious, but sometimes it's better to state the obvious than have it go unnoticed. If your ex is an addict who engages in risky behaviors, keep your child far, far away from that person. 

I have seen stories on the news about kids who died because they found their parent’s drug stash, ingested some of the drugs, and died. These kinds of tragedies can be easily avoided by keeping the drugs (and drug users) out of the home and away from the child. 

And I’ve also heard stories of kids being left in their parent’s cars in a casino parking lot while their parents gambled away money that’s supposed to feed and clothe them.

And then there are your “everyday alcoholics” who may seem harmless, but often neglect and abuse both their partners and children. 

If your ex is at all like this, stay away from them. Keep your kids away from them as well.

If you do have an ex who is an addict, it’s a good idea to examine your own thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that led you to being with a person like that.

The Breakup Healing System is designed to help you do this type of work and heal whatever it is in you that may have led to this kind of relationship.

Want to try it out for yourself for free?

Click Here to Enroll in The Breakup Healing System Mini Course Now.

If your ex cheated on you, do not get back together with your ex for your child.

A common question I see is “should I get back with an ex who cheated on me.” If your ex cheated on you, they’ll probably do it again.

And this sets a horrible example for your child of what relationships should look like. There is a saying that “once a cheater, always a cheater.” I think there’s some truth to that.

The kind of person who is unable to maintain an exclusive relationship at one time, is probably not going to be able to do it in the future either.

Of course, that’s not always the case. Sometimes people heal whatever trauma or weakness that caused them to cheat, but most people are unwilling to do this type of work.

So if your ex cheated, but they sought professional help or did deep inner work like The Breakup Healing System and genuinely seemed changed, then it might be ok to give the relationship another go.

But if your ex just makes promises that they won’t do it again, I would stay away. What usually happens in this instance is that you’ll get back together, and then months or years later they’ll cheat again. 

And you have to think about what that’s going to do to your child. Is it really worth the risk? I think not. Your child has been through enough already, better to not put them through any more drama or trauma. 

Step 4: What Are The Advantages and Disadvantages of Getting Back with Your Ex?

So another thing to look at when deciding whether or not to get back with your ex are the advantages and disadvantages of doing so. A lot of times we see the advantages, but ignore the disadvantages.

And this ignorance is often willful. It’s easy to look past fatal flaws and red flags your ex is exhibiting, especially when you are in pain or in fear of being alone forever. But ignoring problems won’t make them go away.

So what I recommend you do is take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write “advantages of getting back with my ex” and other write “disadvantages of getting back with my ex.” 

Then go back and forth, coming up with advantages and disadvantages and writing it down. This brings positives and negatives of your ex into your conscious mind so you can see the relationship in its totality. 

In The Breakup Healing System I will show you how to combine this process with letting go. The reason why I recommend letting go with this process is that we often get so attached to certain aspects of a relationship that we’re completely blind to the glaring flaws. 

Conversely, we also have aversions to certain aspects of our relationships. And with aversions, you can be so averse to certain things that may not really be a problem, yet we make it out to be such a huge problem that we throw away a potentially great relationship. 

For instance, let’s say that your ex is really great and ticks all the right boxes but your ex snores. And you hate snoring so much that you ended what could otherwise be a really great relationship. 

This is an extreme example, but hopefully you see the point. If you can let go of your aversion to snoring, you can enjoy a loving relationship with your ideal partner. 

Being able to see the advantages and disadvantages of your relationship and letting go can help you see more clearly as to whether or not you should get back with your ex. And when you enroll in The Breakup Healing System, you’ll find out exactly how to do this.

If you want to get a taste of what the course is like, you can enroll in the min course now:

Click Here to Enroll in The Breakup Healing System Mini Course Now.

Conclusion: Should You Get Back With Your Ex?

The main thing I want you to takeaway from this article is to do some inner work before deciding if you should get back with your ex. Doing the kind of deep inner work that's in The Breakup Healing System is crucial to healthy relationships, and even healthy bodies and finances as well. 

If you do the the work, you won't even need to wonder about whether or not you should get back with your ex. You'll just know.

That's because as you let go, you'll gain inner wisdom and tap into your own intuitive knowingness. And I'm not just saying that, I know this from my own personal experience.

And if you let go, you'll know this in your experience as well. Want to try it out? You can enroll in The Breakup Healing System Mini Course for free.

Click Here to Check It Out Now.


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